December 16th
7 How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. Psalm 36:7-9 NIV
15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. 16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? 17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. 18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. 20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife? Proverbs 5:15-20 NKJV
I’ve spent a good deal of effort studying the effects of sexual sin over the years. In constructing our website, at times I’ve felt that I have sounded anti-sex, since there is so much material about why sinful sex is wrong and harmful. The Lord reminded me the other day that sex [in its proper context of marriage] reflects his goodness and love for us. It also reflects the wonder and awe of him who gave us the capacity to experience pure passion and pleasure.
The beauty of sex is often eclipsed or hijacked by the world’s promotion of lust and sexual idolatry. Whether we are married, or plan to be someday, we can turn to the scriptures for the truth about sex that will help maintain or revive a healthy perspective on this precious gift God has given us.
Sex is an example of a profound pleasure that comes from God’s “river of delights.” He designed our bodies to experience it through a wealth of nerve endings in the erogenous zones. He gave our brains the special capacity for romantic love and passionate sexual interaction that no other created being has.
In addition to the physical enjoyment, sex creates a wonderful bonding of body, soul and spirit of the husband and wife (Malachi 2:15, Genesis 2:24). It is a mystery how this happens, but we do know that it happens. From this special union we can share in the creation of life itself and the true miracle that it is.
Solomon, though he had many wives, encouraged his son to stick with the wife of his youth. The secret of sexual satisfaction was to be found in that one special relationship, which was characterized by joy, satisfaction and captivation. No sinful relationship, such as an extramarital affair, could come close to producing such enduring effects.
I see the potential of marital love illustrated in these verses from the Song of Solomon:
9You have ravished my heart, My sister, my spouse;You have ravished my heart With one look of your eyes, With one link of your necklace. 10How fair is your love, My sister, my spouse! How much better than wine is your love, And the scent of your perfumes Than all spices! 11Your lips, O my spouse, Drip as the honeycomb; Honey and milk are under your tongue; And the fragrance of your garments Is like the fragrance of Lebanon. Song of Solomon 4:9-11 NKJV
It is this kind of love that will naturally flow into a wonderful marriage sex life. I would guess that many if not all of us would desire to be “ravished in heart” for a special someone in our lives. I believe God wants those who are called to marriage to have a relationship with our spouses characterized by romance, love and passionate, fulfilling sex. Reality may be currently far from that, however, we can trust God for the strength, creativity and motivation needed to build such a relationship. This may seem especially challenging for those who have already been married for awhile and have seen the lustre of their relationship wear down over the years. People who are single may also find it difficult to believe for such a relationship, especially if they’re getting older and no prospects have come their way. If such a relationship is your desire, I encourage you to trust in God and believe for it, based on the promises of his word, such as Psalm 103:2-5:
2Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: 3Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, 4Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, 5Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:2-5 NKJV
If we are feeling particularly challenged in our faith to believe for such things, we can cling to the fact that with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26)!
Questions for further thought:
In what ways have your past sexual sins impacted your ability to experience sex as God intended it?
Was God gift of sex to mankind permissive or restrictive? In what ways was it similar to the food provision in the Garden Eden? (Genesis 2:9, 15-18, 21-23)
If our spouse’s shortcomings are hindering our ability to experience sex the way God intended it, what are we to do with such concerns? (Philippians 4:6-7)
How do our attitudes toward our spouse measure up to the standard of true love that we’re called to give? (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Prayer:
“Heavenly Father, thank you for the wonderful, good gift of sex. I praise you for designing such a pleasurable way for people to bond with their spouses. I invite you to work in my life, Father, and heal me of any sexual dysfunction I may have. I repent from any past sexual sins that I have not yet confessed to you. Specifically: _____________ (list). Please forgive me of this sin and cleanse me with your blood. Please cut me free from any ungodly soul-ties I may have developed through my sin and restore me to wholeness. Lord, I lay my concerns, worries or fears about sex and marriage at the foot of your throne now: _________________ (list). Please take these from my shoulders and help me to keep my eyes and thoughts focused on you each day. I believe that you have a good plan for my life and sexuality. Please help me overcome any unbelief. I want to experience sex as you intended it to be. Thank you, Lord! I praise you now and forever, Amen!”